Dead Vita? Sony's Scam? RIP Crytek? - Spoilt Milk #1

Welcome all to the underlying issue of Spoilt Milk - the bi-weekly series in which take the week's most controversial gaming stories and put a comical twist on them to personify, indepthyify (hey, I made a new word!) and stir up in order to expose the true identity of something possibly overlooked.

Earlier this week a firestorm of rabid Sony fans took to their Keyboards and rode the planes of cyberspace to express their cosmic disgust at Sony's refusal to offer customers who preordered the digital version of The Last Of Us Remastered (for the PlayStation 4) a refund, but it isn't as 2-dimensional as you'd expect. It is codified in the terms and conditions of the PlayStation Store that 'YOU MAY NOT CANCEL A PREORDER AT ANY TIME' and 'REFUNDS ARE NOT AVAILABLE FOR PREORDERS' - seems fair, right? Hell to the yes, that sounds more than fair from Sony and the consumer's  perspective. However, yes there really is a catch, when one preorders anything offering a non-refundable item I expect the very best in service and custom from the provider of said goods. What I do not expect is for the provider to swallow their 'terms' like the original manufacturer's  guarantee on a second-hand condom and ride the loyal fans as did the Sony fans their mice when the news hit by cutting $10 from the RRP of the digital product on a 'no-refund' basis. Since then Sony acknowledged the outcry and feared the value and joyful experience offered by the PlayStation Store would be tarnished so eventually decided to give the fans $10 back even though they didn't essentially own the product at the time of purchase due to it being a pre-order. Wonderful! Before the refund was given shafting pre-orderers is most certainly the most effective way to win the consumer's heart.

The cat is out of the bag! Remember how Crytek roared valiantly on how realistic Xbox One exclusive, Ryse would be? Well, as of this week they unofficially swallowed their ego-inflated words when German gaming magazine 'Gamestar' published allegations on Crytek's woeful financial debacle. Even though this isn't official, at least it hasn't sourced from some dodgy Scandinavian porn magazine. The accusations in Gamestar circle Crytek's adoption of the recent Cryengine which supposedly cost them hugely and the price for AA developers to buy a license doesn't offer Crytek enough return on their initial investment with the distribution frequency. Whatever the case, at least Crytek will leave a legacy if their demise is imminent unlike Call Of Duty: Black Ops Declassified developer, Nihilistic or even worse, Semaphore Games who shamelessly ripped off the Uncharted franchise with the abysmal 'Unearthed: The Trail Of Ibn Battuta' which left an acidic burn in the mouths of its patrons due to how poorly constructed the game actually was.

Next up on this week's agenda was a tidal wave of depressed PlayStation Vita owners who came to the sudden realisation that Sony saw their brand new, sleek system promising 'console quality games' as a  sick bastard-child version of the PlayStation Move since their initial promises were broken due to the system becoming an accessory to the PlayStation 4 rather than its own entity. E3 2014 taught us a lot, but the sorest lesson of all (in the eyes of PlayStation fanatics) was that the PlayStation Vita had no AAA games coming out in the foreseeable system; you know, the very titles that help keep the system afloat by appealing to the mainstream audiences thus increasing sales by expanding above and beyond the niche audiences? Well, the Vita has none of that in the future and such realisations fuelled 'emotional' responses from Sony loyalists such as extremists playing 'the PS Vita is dead' card and more constructive criticism from those enjoying the PS Vita's new subsidiary role to the PS4. Make of this what you will, good or bad.

So there you have it, a handpicked collection of this week's most negative stories in the world of gaming. We hope you enjoyed this article and make sure you return next time for a comical insight into the week's worst gaming news that would make your Gran spew her tea halfway across the room into the fishbowl.
Good day.

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