If You Own A Toilet You Need A PS Vita, Here Are 5 Reasons Why

Hello all, today I've decided to put the sun aside and compose a slightly offbeat article to satisfy the wackiest tastes my readers may have. That's right, today I lie in Portugal, soaking up the glorious sun, ready to deliver you with one of my craziest articles yet! I've had this on hold for a while, but I'm finally ready to deliver it, if you own a toilet buy yourself a Playstation Vita now. Here's why, enjoy!

Playstation 4 Functionality 
Unless you've been living under a rock situated at the bottom of Dark Souls' abyss, you will be quite aware of SONY's upcoming Playstation 4. Of late, there has been quite some attention surrounding the revolutionary gaming device; with critics praising the system's technologically sound design structure to the system's games, the love comes from left, right and centre - just like Mark Cerny's glance in a female-only gym. Despite being an absolutely fantastic system, a lot of attention has been swarming the "Remote Play" function - a feature designed to allow PS4 games to work on the Ps Vita through the very latest technical wizardry. With regard to the subject of this article, CGUK believes that this would be the perfect accomplice when sat comfortably on the civil cesspit for the gamer could jump up, connect their Vita and continue playing their favourite PS4 game on the bog for the next hour, marvellous!

The Full Console Experience
The next reason sources from the very nature of the PS Vita's games. Carrying a lot of promise to deliver "console-like" gaming experiences (with many examples today), the PS Vita by nature is a portable home-console. Furthermore, the Vita already does allow the user to experience "full-console" games on the go from the Playstation Store which sells digital PS1 games for a small fee. With this integrated you can convert your waste-deposit centre into a home entertainment hub - yet another example of modern technology at its best!

Bitesize chunks (PS Mobile)
The next factor comes to be the complete opposite of the previous point. Thanks to Playstation Mobile, the Ps Vita now has IOS-like games up for sale. Because of this it is now possible to jump into a quick 5 minute game and enjoy the sounds and sights that bless indie games - this is perfect to those who poo like a suppository-intoxicated camel! 

Ease of access
The next point is by nature a uniquely situated benefit of handheld gaming. Since the dawn of handheld systems one has been able to put the system on standby to turn it back on later and find oneself in the exact spot from where the game was left. With regard to the statement in question, CGUK finds this to be of utmost importance when it comes to gaming whilst simultaneously dumping one's waste. Not only does this allow the user to instantly return to the heat of the action, but it also means that energy can be saved and bills can be cut in partaking in this Eco-friendly process. In the long run your bills will be cut and your personal water-closet will be forever viewed in a different light. What else could one desire?

Cross game chat (with video support)
The next aspect is ludicrous by default, but very amusing and will help transform your toilet time into social time with friends. Thanks to the Vita's all-new chat system never seen before on a Sony handheld, the Vita turns into a social device rather than a gaming console. With this in mind, CGUK had a spark of genius and saw this to be an opportunity to amuse oneself with friends when sat on the ol' John Williamson. Never again will hours go to waste when constipation hits! Never again will you gaze aimlessly at the whitewashed walls, squeezing, wishing it was over. And you thought the dual cameras were useless...

So there you have it. If this hasn't convinced you to buy a Vita then check out CGUK's more serious take on why you should buy a PS Vita. We would like to thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed your time on CGUK's website.


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